Here’s the thing. I love movies. I love film so so very, very much. I love storytelling. I was the girl who had seen almost every film nominee tonight, I was the girl who had an almost flawless Oscar ballot, I was the girl who teared up at least 5 times, I was the girl who felt like every win for a movie/performance she loved was like a personal mini-win. It may be extreme, but I do not think it is foolish. I am watching. I am studying. I am learning. I am writing. I am working on set. I am working in every capacity from makeup to assistant directing. My life energy is focused on learning what makes a good story, what components really connect and invigorate and demand attention. What films force people to rethink beliefs and habits. What they uncover and what they repair. First I want to understand, and then I want to do it myself. As we were watching the Oscars tonight, and I was crying at another beautiful acceptance speech of someone who didn’t realize how far their impact and goals would really reach, I got a text from another filmmaker friend. “We’re gonna be there soon,” she said. I felt dizzy at the prospect. But then again I was dizzy and surging with energy just watching this room of talent and power, sitting in a living room across the country.
I really, really want to be there someday.
And I want to be there because I helped tell a story that challenged and healed.
This week was my 1 year anniversary of working on sets, and I’m so poor I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to keep on before I’ll have to give in and get a “real job”. But tonight I am energized and passionate. Tonight I celebrated the stories of talented, determined beauties. Tonight I imagined possibilities.